My Resolutions Day 147

Sunday 18 June 2017

I was asked to help set up a barbecue by my brother, and we did manage it, except that the sun was out and making everything really hot. You could sum up our experience like this;

Brother: You got the legs?

Me: One sec, got them. Ow! Fuck! Hot! Hot Hot!

-We manage to screw them in.

Brother: You got the panels?

Me: One sec, got them. Ow! Fuck! Really hot!

-We manage to screw them in.

Brother: You got the sides?

Me: One sec, got them. Ow! Fuck! Hot! Why does it have to be hot!?

That is pretty much how it went. The food is cooking right now, so, I’m going to finish this post and then head on down and just hang out with my brothers and some friends.

I was trying not to look at the sun. My mind was going “Just look at it got three seconds, then no more.” I am not sure if it’s my OCD causing this or my own stupidity. I managed to avoid doing it though. Even if I know I could hurt myself, my OCD seems to be wanting me to do it, mostly I can avoid doing those sorts of things, despite my thoughts.

I did get some writing done, it was only a page but I wanted to make sure all the reasons that my characters do something have a reason, I almost hit a point when I couldn’t say how one character knew something.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 0001

Time – 00:00:01

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 241 – 249

Danny has been on the TV show and is hoping to get more people to join him through that. It seems he has done well, at least one person joined him by putting their passport photo under his door.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 117 – 117

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 146

Saturday 17 June 2017

I have been managing to do the 30 push ups a day easily lately, before I could barely do 10. I don’t mean that I didn’t have the strength to do push ups, just ever since my back started causing me pain it’s been hard to do push ups without it hurting a lot. I’ve started to get it a little under control, maybe it’s just getting used to the pain, maybe it’s my disc getting better, I don’t know if anything can be done about nerve damage though. I’ll keep on going with push ups.

I’ve been thinking on the first chapter of my novel, seems to be going well.

I want to try to challenge my OCD some more, but I’m not too sure on how to do this, so for now I’ll continue to try and do it by trying to read without reading the same sentence over and over.

I’m not sure what I want to do tonight, I will probably try to write some more or play on Doom some more.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 0001

Time – 00:00:01

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 221 – 241

Danny keeps lying to Hanne and I can’t think of why he thinks it’s good. He has lied about being sick and then gone to Brussels. If Hanne decides to call him or go over, she’ll know he’s out and will know he was lying. I doubt this will end well for him, he’s in newspapers and TV shows now. I have no idea if she’ll stay with him by the end of this book.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 117 – 117

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 145

Friday 16 June 2017

I am hoping to finish a full rough of a first chapter of my novel by the end of the month, I have a lot I want to work on, so I end up working on like five things at once, I’m planning out another novel which is grander in scope than the one I am writing right now.

I managed to read today with only little problems. It was hard to do, but I managed to push through again without having to read the same sentence too many times again, I put down the book when I felt it getting harder to keep going. It’s weird, I can focus a little and try to push these obsessions out of my mind, but it will eventually get too much. Now I need to stop doing things like needing to unlock and relock the door, or only eat a certain number of things.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 0001

Time – 00:00:01

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 205 – 221

Danny has gotten back into Join Me after being convinced he shouldn’t. He now has over 400 Joinee’s, so he’s almost half way there, I’m about half way through the book.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 117 – 117

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 144

Thursday 15 June 2017

I managed to sleep a little longer today at seven hours, makes a change from the usual three to four. I installed the update to Doom and played it for about half an hour last night, I did play it in the end that night after all. I have cleaned again and since I have kept everything mostly sorted, it didn’t take long. I feel I need a cleaner space to focus, not just in a physical sense but a mental one. Writing down thoughts can get them out of your head, I feel like I can’t focus because I’ve got too much going on in my head. Now that I’ve cleaned up the place, I am going to write down my ideas.

Booked a ticket to see the new Spiderman film, got a phone call from a friend saying he booked it and wanted to know if my brother and I were up for watching it. I’m glad it’s not meant to be an origin story, as we’ve seen that a few times. I hope that it turns out to be better than the other reboot.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 0001

Time – 00:00:01

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 205 – 205

Not read today.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 117 – 117

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 143

Wednesday 14 June 2017

I didn’t sleep last night again, so, I decided to go out, catch a bus to a larger town and look around. I wasn’t expecting to buy anything, went around Waterstones and bought two books. I bought Doom for PS4, I will probably play on it tomorrow as I don’t know if I can stay awake long enough to play well, who knows maybe I’ll give it a go later.

My side was killing me today, I took my painkillers for the first time in a month as I’ve been trying to control my pain without pills. I hope I can sleep even with my kidney’s acting up.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 8287
Time – 02:37:40

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 205 – 205

Not read today.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 117 – 117

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 142

Tuesday 13 June 2017

I’m going to be recording tonight, not too sure how I’ll do considering that I stayed up all night and only got a few hours sleep between 12:00 and 15:00, I expect I will be fine once I start.

I had a talk with a friend of mine from about 2 AM till 6 AM about his novel, I wonder if he managed to get any sleep. I should get to work on my stuff too, I have a lot to do so it’s about finding a little time.

My exercises are going well. I’m managing to do 30 push ups a day when before I could barely do 10 due to my back. I have no idea if I’m getting better or if I’m blocking out the pain.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 2534
Time – 00:32:35

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 205 – 205

Not read today.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 117 – 117

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 141

Monday 12 June 2017

I’ve been recording today, going to edit either later tonight or tomorrow, I’m pretty tired lately due to not sleeping well the past few weeks. I’m wondering how much I’ll get done by the end of the month, I really need to get my head out of being so spacey lately, so tomorrow I’m going to get down everything that bugs me that I can change and do it.

I think I need to sort my head out, my OCD isn’t going to be cured, but it will be managed the best I can. I’m noticed that while the recording session was fine today, I was a little spacey. I couldn’t get focused the way I used to, so some thinking is needed.

I’m going to try to clear up my poem more too. I feel it’s about 70% complete now. Just needs a little polishing.

I managed to do my 30 push ups today, meaning that I’ve managed to beat my OCD in his instance, it was easy to do 30 once you’ve already done it once. I was only going to start 30 push ups today, since it’s a Monday, but I managed to do it yesterday, while hard, it allowed me to start doing what I want earlier than usual.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 0001
Time – 00:00:01

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 205 – 205

Not read today.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 117 – 117

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 140

Sunday 11 June 2017

I’ve just been relaxing today, I only have to watch a few things for the podcast, which isn’t hard. I’ll be editing tomorrow either before or after we record.

I decided that fuck my OCD, usually I would have to do things a certain number of times or on certain days because of their number. So, I was thinking of increasing the number of push ups I do a day. I would have done this Monday, but I thought that I waste so much time by needing to wait for the right day. It took a lot of doing, but I finally managed to get myself to do it today. I was thinking if I could do just one more push up, it wouldn’t be ten anymore, so maybe going higher won’t be as hard. After much struggle, as it wasn’t easy for me to do, I did one more push up, making it 11 and I was able to easily do some more once overcoming it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it again, but I think I’ll be able to still do my 30 push ups.

I’m hoping to write out some more of the first chapter of my novel. If I don’t write tonight, I’ll do it tomorrow. I think it’s going well.

Exercise – I did 30 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 0001
Time – 00:00:01

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 201 – 205

Danny is going on holiday to help him clear his head.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 97 – 117

Jorg is returning home to see his father and we’ve had flashbacks.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 139

Saturday 10 June 2017

I managed to read some more today, my OCD tripped me up a few times, so I ended up reading the same paragraph like 11 times. However, I managed to read up until chapter 15. I hope to complete a few books this month.

I’m taking a break from editing today.

I’ve been relaxing most of the day, so not a lot to talk about. At the moment I feel a little spaced, I can’t think of what to type, so I’m going to stop typing here.

Exercise – I did 10 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 2362
Time – 00:40:15

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 173 – 201

Danny has discovered that the person his Joinee’s helped, the one which helped make the decision on where Join Me would go, was a criminal. He now feels down about it and I can understand, but something good can still come from it, Danny can still use Join Me for good. I’m guessing since the book goes on, he doesn’t give up on Join Me.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 97 – 97

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.

My Resolutions Day 138

Friday 09 June 2017

The editing is going well, I couldn’t sleep last night so got half an episode done. I’ve found a good way to keep up the pace, so it’s getting faster now.

My reading is getting better now, I’ve tried to keep my OCD under control lately and it seems I’m getting better at it. I’m managing to get through some sentences without having to read them 15, 17, or 19 times. Sometimes I think people don’t take OCD as seriously as they should, it’s the same with most mental problems.

I visited my English teacher again today. I try to keep in touch with her and visit her every so often. I think it’s nice to keep in touch with people if you can do that.

Exercise – I did 10 push ups today.

Walking

Steps – 2510
Time – 00:31:15

Handgrips

01 sets of 25 – 25

Reading

Join Me

Pages 157 – 173

Danny has finally decided on what he wants to do with his Joinee’s. He is asking them to do one random act of kindness every Friday, which is a nice thing. It feels like it’ll pick up its pace now.

Prince Of Thorns

Pages 97 – 97

Not read today.

On A Pale Horse

Pages 191 – 191

Not read today.

Short Stories by Philip K Dick

Pages 35 – 35

Not read today.