Monday 30 October 2017
I woke up at 10 AM today.
I didn’t sleep well last night, for some reason a wave of depression hit me. I think it’s because I felt like all that I write is worthless. As I was thinking about what to write, I realised in my reviews I have no deep insight or anything worth saying. I noticed the story I was writing wasn’t working out and now I have nothing I can really work on.
I looked at the story I was going to write in short chapters and came across the many things which ruined it; one of those “that can’t happen because of this,” and “that can’t work because if that happened then this would have happened preventing it,” and “why didn’t they do this?” I noticed I was writing something where even the main plot isn’t solid. I tried some other ideas and nothing worked, that story will just fail. I tried to think of some other stories and realised that what I came up with has no end goal, the main character has nothing to achieve, I can’t find anything else around that. I wanted something that can last for a while, maybe a year at most.
I talked to someone about it and found out that I wanted a story which would keep people interested and not find it stupid. When the main character finds out about whatever launches them into the world, it ends up being silly and the main character has no goal, they just find themselves in a world they don’t know; I mean when they find out, what do they do?
Between giving up on the stories and depression, I haven’t done much today except to think hard. I’ve settled on the short chapter story isn’t doable for me right now. So that means I’ve nothing to write about at the moment since I wanted to think about my novels and short stories so they have the best plot and writing I can give them and the short chapter story was meant to be something I can write quickly while thinking about the other stories.
Maybe I can’t explain it well but I feel worthless in my writing. I can’t even come up with a simple story that I can write short chapters for. I might just give up on writing for a while, maybe just say fuck it for a month. Maybe I might never return to it but this feels like a roadblock in my enjoyment, life and what I want to do.
Push ups: 30
Sit ups: 30
Handgrips: 02 sets of 25 – 50
Walking: 0001 steps – 00:00:01 Time taken
Pages 311 – 311
Not read today.
A Place Called Perfect
Pages 295 – 295
Not read today.